Finding Balance

Being a wife is difficult. Everyone tells you how tough it is to be a mom, and they try to prepare you for it as much as possible, but I feel like we so often skip over warning young women about what it really looks like to be a wife.

Working 70+ hour weeks being a care giver, nanny, barista, and admin assistant and coming home to a disastrous house, a “planned” dinner that I left in the freezer, and a husband who had a bad day at work (its been a tough month or so for him) is just not working.
I need balance. I need to prioritize and find new ways to multitask.

One thing that is extremely important to me is that Rob can come home to a clean house, with dinner cooking, take his shoes off and play video games while he gets some “me” time. This is not something that he ever asks for or complains about when it doesn’t happen, but I know it’s important to him and what he wants to be able to do. This is not something I am willing to compromise. Sometimes I will ask him to pick up something for dinner, take out the trash, or straighten up a little bit before our friends come over, but I don’t want it to be a daily thing. 

He works so hard. He deserves time to himself! That is just one way that I can serve him. 

Another very important thing to us is that we go to bed at the same time. No matter how crazy our days are, we will always be able to snuggle and talk laying next to each other. The rest of my cleaning can wait until the next morning when he’s at work! 

I am burnt out. Being a college student, working 70+ hours a week, while planning a wedding, starting to look for houses, and trying to be a wife as much as I can be without living in the same home. Phew. 

Now that college is over for the summer, and the wedding planning is over with (in 8 days!!!), I feel like I can almost breathe and finally figure out what wife life looks like. 

Here’s my plan on how to get it all done.

   6:00am - wake up (make bed & straighten up bedroom)

   6:15am - get ready for the day

   7:00am - prepare for day (collect dinner ingredients, straighten couches, empty dishwasher, wipe bathroom/kitchen counters, 
     sweep/mop/vacuum)

   8:00am - leave for work

   8:30am - arrive to work

       (thankfully, being a caregiver for my grandfather for 9hours a day gives me time where I can work on my admin assistant 
      work, grocery shopping, do laundry, etc)

       *I spend the first half of the day getting whatever needs done around Grandpa’s house, getting his meds, cleaning the 
        bathroom, cleaning the kitchen, etc and then I get to spend the second half getting my personal to-do list done. Since I’m 
        there every day and he doesn’t make a mess, there’s not a whole lot to do if I keep up with regular chores, so it’s great that I 
        have the ability to get some personal things done - especially since I work as much as I do. 

   0:00m - make dinner (time depends on crock pot meal, dinner on the stove/oven) 

       (I have to make meals for my grandfather, so it makes it easy to only have to make dinner once - finding something that all 
        three of us like. I can make it while at work, and bring it home for R & I to eat as soon as I get home, or shortly after)

   5:00pm - dinner time for Grandpa

   5:30pm - arrive home & dinner time for R & I

   5:30pm - put away laundry (I do this first thing so I can sit, watch TV, and enjoy time with R on the couch!)

       - while watching TV -

   6:00pm - get the rats out for the exercise

   6:00pm - put dishes in dishwasher & run

   6:30pm - mop/sweep (if not done in the morning)

   6:30pm - pay any necessary bills, bank transfers, etc (so it can be done with R)

   6:30pm - put rats to bed (with fresh water & food)

   8:00pm - bed time! (snuggle with my husband :))

   8:30pm - asleep

This is the ideal day and although most of the evening of our days don’t look like this, it's a good baseline! It’s a way for me to get things done without burning out.
I’m learning how to multitask smarter and learning how to manage my time better and that's what's most important.
My husband deserves the best version of me and when I’m burnt out, I am NOT the best version of me. I have so much to learn. In our vows, I will promise him that I will work hard daily to be the wife he deserves, and I fully intend on keeping that promise.